Outsource yourself to india

A funny email from my archives. Enjoy. See some links at the end that some of my friends sent through.

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Hey All,

At the strategic portfolio management training that was held recently we had a scenario where the CEO of a company needed to do something quickly about the state of affairs of her company otherwise it would go under (the cash burn rate was pretty high).

I came up with the wacky suggestion that the CEO should outsource herself to India. Considering the pay package for most CEOs, a CEO in india would be able to do the job at a fraction of the cost thereby boosting the bottom line, thereby giving the company more time to live (and perhaps even saving it just by the fact that local CEO’s don’t have a very good rap nowadays).

But then I got thinking. What if I was to outsource MYSELF to India? Think about it. Eventually companies are about the bottom line. And if companies can outsource employees, it will. So why not get the step up and outsource yourself first!

I know what you are thinking – am I really that outsourceable? Am I? Well, consider the work functions that you do, a lot of is research, writing documents, research etc. Now imagine if you had your very own pleb … I mean, Indian employee, that you could handball all this work to. Now you can.

Or maybe you think the kind of work you do is issues based consulting that requires complex modelling and thinking. I have no doubt given the right instructions and talent, you could find a similarly skilled person in India that would be able to replicate your functions – history’s proved it. Indians have launched rockets into space, they came up with the Kama Sutra and they make more movies in one day than hollywood releases in a year. Issues based consulting… pfft …child’s play. You just need to find the right talent (and there’s a lot considering the population).

Now that you are convinced that you are indeed outsourceable, what’s the business model? Well, you sell yourself to Australia at Australian market rates while your Indian proxy works at a lesser rate. You pocket the difference! And during the time you would normally spend working, you could do other things. Now that’s leverage!

You’ll of course need to sign an exclusive agreement with your Indian counterpart so he/she’s not adopting a shared pleb model and representing 2 people. You’ll also need to secure an alternative employee agreement – one where you are not obliged to show up unless required because…well why should you!

But what if the corporation decides to go direct? I don’t know. But my Indian-based consultant is working on it….

Regards,
Hafeez Bana’s indian representative on Behalf of Hafeez Bana

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UPDATE:
I found an article describing and actual person outsourcing experiment.
http://www.smartmoney.com/esquire/index.cfm?Story=20050909-outsource

The company offering the service:
http://www.brickworkanalyst.com/
http://www.brickworkanalyst.com/remote_assistant.htm

And to think I was joking…